Oct 31/08

the one where stuff is thought about...

via instructables

happy hallowe'en, you guys. all 3 of you. i love you 3. 3 is good. i hope you are not tricked and that you get lots of kids to treat.

i got stuff on my brain, yo, and i need to get it out. we'll begin with the heavy hitters. is a spark still a spark if it is only felt by one? i thought a spark is only a spark if it is felt by both parties? i've gone on 2 dates with this man and i have the impression that he thinks we will be dating more in the future, which isn't the case. he's nice and our conversations are fine, but i'm not swept up in really wanting to get to know him more. maybe it's the age difference (he's 13 yrs older), maybe it's the cultural differences or maybe it's just me, but the spark, for me, ain't there. maybe i'm too picky? or maybe i'm just sticking to my guns in what i'm looking for in a partner. also, why do i feel guilty about not wanting to see him anymore? seriously! guilty! what is that?? where does that come from?

in any case, i'm enjoying meeting new people and dating seriously as opposed to just going out with random guys and keeping my distance. it's teaching me a lot and giving me new insight to how odd i really am! kind of kidding: the above paragraph gives a good surface example of my thought process while kissing someone, thinking about a date afterwards or while waiting for said date to show up. my thoughts run rampant at the wrong time sometimes.

oh pat benatar....love IS a battlefield to you, but to me, love is the battle and my brain is the battlefield. ugh. where is the off switch??